A Year In and Out of the Fog

Over a year into this momma of two thing, and we are on a roll, and I’m already sad that I don’t really have a baby anymore. Mom’s go through so much emotion. The eagerness of trying to get pregnant…the agony of having a miscarriage or other problems, then it works…you are pregnant. Then you have terrible morning sickness. You are so sick and so debilitated, you decide not to work. Then, you move into a new place, one that it is bigger for baby. It’s happening. This time in your life. You are nesting. Your belly is growing. It’s summer. Your feet are swelling. When you swim at the pool, the life guard looks nervous as your whale figure emerges from the water. You haul yourself around, find arousal in the oddest places…lots of blood is flowing. Then all your baby gear and gifts arrive. It’s time to move from your old place. Time for change. You and your husband celebrate this change in your life by decorating the baby room and you buy lots of expensive baby furniture and the newest, most amazing baby buggy. All the relatives think we are being ridiculous. We are, but we don’t know it at the time.

The time comes. The baby is born. It’s a long and complicated birth, but she, my first born actually flew like a football and the doctors caught her with a net. Her name is Maya Starr, and she is exuberant, wild, smart, funny — just one of the most entertaining people I’ve ever been around. She’s three now and draws “boos”, loves to paint pictures, cooks fervently, dances, and can count to 10 in 4 languages!! Yes, that’s right, but I”m not bragging or anything. My favorite thing about Maya is that she calls me her “Best Mommy.”

The baby is now 16 months old. Her name is Lilly, but we all call her Lilly Poo. She’s as darling as they come. I’ve never come upon a more joyful, sweet child. She started walking right on cue…when Maya did at 14.5 months old. She pulled herself to standing at the same time as well. She doesn’t say too much yet, but she does say “Hi”, “Yeah,” “Num num”, “Uh oh” and “Pa pa”…that’s pretty good.

I love them both. They are both my darlings. I’m exhausted too….and I’m always wishing for more time. It’s hard to do everything and do it well….so I’m just trying to do a few things and do those things well. We shall see…we shall see.

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